Fear and Loathing in Tuscaloosa

This is one of those nights when I truly believe that the powers that be have bets that I will have a meltdown of apocalyptic proportions and they are trying to see how far they can push me. I think I was built for serious stress, not the little aggravating annoyances of everyday life. Today, I'm tired and the powers that be can kiss my ass.

Dinner was planned. Open-faced, very tasty, hot roast beef sandwiches. Easy. Or NOT. I'm very excited about dinner because lunch never happened so when I discovered the fuzzy green dots on my hoagie rolls that we bought TWO DAYS AGO, I was not happy and for two reasons. One was very obvious, my bread was moldy but the second is the result of that fact. If the bread was moldy then I would have to go to the store. Where we live the closest grocery store by far is Publix. I really, really, really hate Publix and for several legitimate reasons. 

1. The name. Publix. It just sounds inappropriate. My spell checker won't even acknowledge it's a real word.

2. The store organization. Every single one is totally different and product placement is clearly headed up by a mentally defective lab rat. I've seriously gotten calls from friends who after searching for something in Publix for 15 min call me in desperation to see of their logic is faulty. The conversations go something like this:

*ring*

Me: Hello

Friend: I'm at Publix

Me: What can't you find and where is it not?"

Friend: Razors

Me: No love, you can't kill yourself in bloody dramatic display to make a point. Ok, you need razors. So, normally razors would be somewhere in the vicinity of Health & Beauty. What is the opposite of health and beauty? 

Friend: Wine

Me: Damnit, you can't drink yourself to death either. CONCENTRATE.

Friend: *sigh*Please help me.

Me: How about next to the Potato Chips, they don't make you healthy or beautiful.

Friend: Checked there already, in fact I've been up and down every god blessed aisle in this store. I even checked.......Jesus God!

Me: Wha?? You found them didn't you.

Friend: Yup, on an end cap by the registers right next to the Lifesavers mints. 

Me: Why didn't I think of that. *Click*

3. And my third and final reason, I once received a flyer from Publix. Totally in Spanish. I'll save my reasoning behind this one for a later post.

Now that you are clear on why I loathe going to Publix you'll laugh when I tell you the fear part of this story. As I am pulling into my parking space I see, out of the corner of my eye, a GD, MF-ing HUGE spider crawling on my driver side window. I can see his fangs. Lemme put it this way, I can break the sound barrier if it means getting away from a spider/roach. Strapped into my car trying to park, there is nowhere to go so I must suffer through the rationalization process which under the influence of the adrenaline that normally powers a Mach 3 disengagement from the vicinity, takes what seems like forever. I then can take a deep breath and realize that the nasty is on the outside and I determine that it's him or me. He must die. Operation Spider Homicide is in effect. Now there is really nothing funny or original in his untimely death so I'll just say 'Mission Accomplished' and leave it at that.

Now I'm in Publix, I've got my mold-free hoagie rolls and I decide the we also need some more tea. Chris' friend Matt gave him some liquor for Christmas that he said was amazing in sweet tea and I was feeling the need for a drink at this point. Now here in Alabama there are two kinds of tea: Chic-fil-a and Milo's. Milo's is the better of the two and you can find it by the gallon conveniently located near the the milk. UNLESS YOU'RE IN PUBLIX. Once again not being able to find what I need, after a futile search I gave up and resigned myself to downing the rest of the wine I have in the fridge convinced that Milo's is just another brand I won't find at Publix. Here's where the Universe MOCKS me again. At the register, while I'm scanning my trusty(and broke) debit card I happen to look up at the screen on the next register and the last item listed for my fellow Publix shopper was none other than:

MILOS TEA SW-GAL

He probably found it next to the toothpaste.

To the universe: I ate my sandwich, killed your spider, but you win on the tea. Score 2-1.

Playing Catch Up

So I guess I kinda suck at this blogging thing. With school and work it's kinda hard to keep up with even though I rarely have a lack of things to say. :o)

This time of year I always try to reflect on the good things in my life regardless of how badly things might be going. Despite being freakin' broke and the stress that comes along with that things are pretty good and 2008 has been pretty good to me. It was on the drive home from a recent trip to Atlanta to visit with friends I began to think about how lucky I really am to know the amazing people I know AND get to call them friends. Sometimes I forget there are people out there that suck just because I have such great friends!! So, to all my friends, new and old, I love you all!

In keeping with the mushy vein, I would also like to publicly acknowledge another amazing force in my life. He's the one who is always here for me reminding me to be positive when I'm not and cheering with me when things are going great. He knows I sometimes need to be pushed (OK...shoved) past my own self doubt and doesn't hesitate because HE knows I can do anything I want. Everything he does, (even when he doesn't want to) he does for me. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be here pursing a degree I thought was out of my reach forever. I am eternally grateful for everything he does and look forward to a lifetime of returning the favor. 

____________________________________________________________________

The last few months.....

I finally found a job! Wait...lemme scratch that exclaimation point and try that again.  

I finally found a job. 

There, that's better. I work in a hair salon and I'm not a fan. I was worried when I took the job that working with 30 women would be too much for me, I was more than correct. Of course there are a handful of people that I really do like but some have treated me so badly or even indifferently that I wouldn't lift a finger to do anything for them. I've done nothing but be nice to everyone, stay out of the drama and attempt to learn how the place runs and do my job but I guess that's not enough. So, the job hunt is ON. Again. Keep your fingers crossed that 2009 brings me a job in a doctor's office or the hospital so I can get outta there!!!!!

The other major consumer of my time was, of course, school. How was the first semester back, you ask? Well, I think a large chunk of my soul is gone but by god, I did good. 3.75 semester GPA, easily the best in my long drawn out college career. In true 'Shannon' fashion I managed my highest grade (an A+) in American Lit and the lowest (a B) in Math. I now fully understand why college students become so devoted to their Universities. That chunk of soul I mentioned now belongs to the University of Alabama. Roll Tide Roll. ;o)

The Next Big Things

I have a another semester of BS classes coming up but Spring semester also brings my first opportunity to apply for Upper Division Nursing classes. If your not familiar with this process it's a very competitive one that is based solely on GPA. Basically, to get in you need to be rocking out. To my advantage, most of the nursing students I've seen in my harder classes, like Microbiology, were filled to brim with little girls who clearly care nothing for school and care desperately about things like their hair, their tan, who the latest whore is in the sorority, getting a dress for the football game and doing their nails. I even heard some of them making fun of a woman who is probably closer to my age than theirs because she was taking notes and asking questions! Like OMG! Like, I mean, really, who takes notes in class? I'm sure those were the ones dragging the class average on tests down to a 68. But, whose complaining? Not me, none of those little brats will even get close so that means less competition for me. :o) 

Wish me luck, y'all!